Black, roaring silences swam sickeningly through his shattered mind. He knew with a kind of resigned certainty that he would survive, because he had not yet been to Stavromula Beta.
So the tale of Nahuel is left on this really weird note, right before Bella and Edward run off to go have sex again unto forever, the end, with this half-vampire kid staring at the female Cullen-Swans. And now, today, we discover that BOTH HALF-VAMPIRE KIDS HAVE SEA MONSTER NAMES. How totally made for each other are these two? He's grown to full teenage maturity, she will grow to full teenage maturity, he never made out with her mom, it's perfect. Except that, no, Jacob has already imprinted on Renesmee, and, as Jacob explained all the way back in New Moon, everyone who gets imprinted on pretty much imprints back because "it's hard to resist that kind of love and devotion." (Yes, I can quote that direct, specific line from memory. That kind of bullshit gets burnt into your brain.) So we have what would be, in any other book, a blatant setup for a future relationship ("he'll have some competition"). Even at the time I gave it the side-eye, it stuck out so weirdly. Do you see what this means? Do you? IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY, YOU GUYS. SHE HAD A PERFECT MATCHING HALF-VAMPIRE SEA-MONSTER LOVE INTEREST FOR RENESMEE! IT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE! IT'S RIGHT THERE! But instead, ~Nessie~ is stuck whether she likes it or not--she doesn't have a choice to like it or not because SHE'S THREE MINUTES OLD--with her mother's ex-boyfriend who delivered her from Bella's bloody mangled body and nearly threw her out the window but instead imprinted on her irrevocably as his soulmate.
This 69-year-old superheroine, published by DC Comics, will don a new — and less revealing — costume and enjoy the publication of Issue No. 600 of her monthly series.
I tried not to despair too much in the notion that this holding pattern of identical days might eat up life while I waited for weekends.*
Whereas in the past the volume of materials coming through frequently required him to hire temporary employees, now his permanent staff of 14 can easily sort 7,500 items per hour, or 125 a minute, he said. As a result, he added, the time it takes for a book to travel through the system has been reduced by at least a day.Ha!
Eilis Lacey has come of age in small-town Ireland in the hard years following World War Two. When an Irish priest from Brooklyn offers to sponsor Eilis in America, she decides she must go, leaving her fragile mother and her charismatic sister behind. Eilis finds work in a department store on Fulton Street, and when she least expects it, finds love. Tony, who loves the Dodgers and his big Italian family, slowly wins her over with patient charm. But just as Eilis begins to fall in love, devastating news from Ireland threatens the promise of her future.
The morning was full of frenzy; she did not for one moment have peace to look around her. Everyone's voice was loud, and there were times when she thought in a flash of an early evening in October walking with her mother down by the prom in Enniscorthy, the Slaney River glassy and full, and the smell of leaves burning from somewhere close by, and the daylight going slowly and gently. This scene kept coming back to her as she filled the bag with notes and coins and women of all types approached her asking where certain items of clothing could be found or if they could return what they had bought in exchange for other merchandise, or simply wishing to purchase what they had in their hands.As someone who has worked retail during a holiday sale, that exactly describes how I felt during my shifts. Body on automatic, mind somewhere pleasant.
As she walked along, however, she knew she was getting closer to the real world, which had wider streets and more traffic. Once she arrived at Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn began to feel like a strange place to her, with so many gaps between buildings and so many derelict buildings. And then suddenly, when she arrived on Fulton Street, there would be so many people crowding to cross the street, and in such dense clusters, that on the first morning she thought a fight had broken out or someone was injured and they had gathered to get a good view.
Drummond Clark was once a spy of legendary proportions. Now Alzheimer’s disease has taken its toll and he’s just a confused old man who’s wandered away from home, waiting for his son to fetch him.
When Charlie Clark takes a break from his latest losing streak at the track to bring Drummond back to his Brooklyn home, they find it blown sky high—and then bullets start flying in every direction. At first, Charlie thinks his Russian “creditors” are employing aggressive collection tactics. But once Drummond effortlessly hot-wires a car as their escape vehicle, Charlie begins to suspect there’s much more to his father than meets the eye. He soon discovers that Drummond’s unremarkable career as an appliance salesman was actually a clever cover for an elaborate plan to sell would-be terrorists faulty nuclear detonators. Drummond’s intricate knowledge of the “device” is extremely dangerous information to have rattling around in an Alzheimer’s-addled brain. The CIA wants to “contain” him--and so do some other shady characters who send Charlie and Drummond on a wild chase that gives “father and son quality time” a whole new meaning.
*Well, there will be some months where I need to read 15 books a month. I'll figure that out later.
A woman soldier has to toughen herself up. Not just for the enemy, for battle, or for her death. I mean toughen herself up to spend months awash in a sea of nervy, hyped-up guys who, when they're not thinking about getting killed, are thinking about getting laid. Their eyes on you all the time, your breasts, your ass--like there is nothing else to watch, no sun, no river, no desert, no mortars at night.
Bibleeohfile: What gave you the idea to write this novel?
SS: I guess the initial idea was to jab at the “blank slate” view that some have of human nature and behavior—that it’s infinitely malleable, if only we have the right environment or program to improve people. I address the development of the novel in some detail here.
What do you think of what’s currently going on with some restaurants being required to post caloric information, the “war on obesity,” and the recent news that Mayor Bloomberg is trying to get smoking in New York City’s public parks outlawed? Were you foreshadowing with Mean Martin Manning, or just a coincidence?
SS: I wasn’t thinking specifically of the war on obesity, or Bloomberg. I wasn’t trying to foreshadow a particular policy direction. But it isn’t just a coincidence, either. As a writer of satire, I pay attention to the news, to emerging attitudes, and Mean Martin Manning, exaggerated though it is, was me addressing and making sense of what I saw happening: The redefining of individual behavior and personal choices as public concerns, and what enables a society to go in this direction, and what a toll this takes on the individual. I have addressed some of the specific policies you mention and current developments on my blog.
How did you come up with your main characters? Are there pieces of your personality in Martin? Is Alice based on anyone you know?
SS: Neither character is based on a real person. I don’t think I am much like Martin. We have some things in common. I don’t like being told what to do. I can be stubborn. I see absurdity.
I came up with Martin through writing. Without any ideas or premises in mind, I wrote an initial paragraph:
His mother would sing to her baby in his crib with the voice of an angel. But when the angel sang Martin wept, because Martin was a mean baby. Some might say that babies are neither mean nor nice, that babies simply are—like moldable clay or blank slates. But Martin was mean all right. A mean baby. Later, he was a mean boy, still later, a mean adult, and his meanness, like a garden well tended, grew with age. He was, at 83 years, meaner than in his youth, not the result of a hard childhood or bitterness at old age, but the predictable culmination of a life steeped in cruelty and uncaring.
That paragraph didn’t end up going anywhere – I shifted to first-person and the voice and tone changed dramatically. But I was just playing with words and sentences and got that paragraph, which set up the basic premise of his character. An old, mean guy. He became a bit younger in the actual book. And it’s debatable whether he’s really all that mean. But the opening paragraph got me started, anyway.
Some time later, a hint of a plot developed. Not only was he mean, but he was isolated. He hadn’t left his apartment in a long time. Working out why he was in his apartment, and what he did there, led to details about his character.
Pitney began as a plot device. Martin had to leave his isolation for the plot to develop. “What would get him to leave?” became “Who would get him to leave?” And Pitney was born and became his foil. She took on a life of her own. She was fun to write. Her developing character helped clarify to me that the book was a satire of a certain kind.
To me, some of the funniest parts of your novel were the scenes where you describe how Martin was going to get his revenge on Alice, Henry the dog man, the court, and then on the world. Did you have a favorite part?
SS: I loved writing that whole fourth part. It was fun to invent ways, relevant, appropriate ways, for him to go after those who’d wronged him. It was fast writing. I enjoyed letting Martin Manning loose and watching him do his thing.
Your bio says that you teach writing fiction, writing humor and comedy, creative writing, and freshman writing at Drexel University; do you find yourself drawing on things from your courses for your writing?
SS: I don’t draw on my courses for my writing.
Many writers describe themselves as "character" or "plot" writers. Which are you? What do you find to be the hardest part of writing?
SS: Fiction writing is all hard. Until it’s easy. Getting started, finding the right voice and pace, finding the approach that works for that book, that’s very hard for me. Once I’ve found that, it’s still intense, draining, but it’s fun, and easy in that it feels right and moves quickly.
I am a character and plot writer. I can’t separate them. For me, the character dictates the plot very, very early on. Who is the character, what would challenge him? That is the beginning of plot. Then the plot goes forward and shapes the character. How he responds to the challenges of the plot is what makes him the character he is. Character and plot feed off of each other.
What are your goals for the future? Do you have other ideas for novels that you'd like to write or do you plan to focus more on your online magazine, When Falls the Coliseum: a journal of American culture (or lack thereof)? (Personally, I hope you're writing another novel featuring Martin campaigning for president.)
SS: I am working on a new novel. I can’t say much about it except that I’ve got a long way to go. I plan to continue to work on When Falls the Coliseum. No sequel for Mean Martin Manning is in the works. If there were to be one, I don’t see Martin as a willing candidate for office.
As a reader, what do you enjoy reading? Any favorite authors?
SS: I read a bit of everything—history, biography, fiction, philosophy, and science. I don’t have a favorite author.
Do you read your reviews, and if so, what's the oddest one you've ever received.
SS: I do read the reviews. In publishing these days especially, authors have to be willing to do their own self-promotion. So reading reviews and trying to get press attention for your books is a part of the process that I participate in. I don’t know if I’ve had odd reviews. I can think of one where the reviewer didn’t get the book, didn’t appear to have read carefully, but I’ve been lucky. Most of my reviews were written by people who clearly read and got the books, and thought about them. Both the Philadelphia City Paper and The American Spectator reviews made the connections to the larger issues Mean Martin Manning addresses while still appreciating the humor and fun of the novel.
More of Scott's writings can be found online at his site, When Falls the Coliseum. His book, Mean Martin Manning, can be purchased online through his publisher, ENC Press.
