So much to write about

Like my thoughts on Dear Mr Unabomber, The Return, and Catching Fire, but my time is not my own.

And even if it was, I'm still fuming over this recent interview with Anne Rice.

It's like fate knew I was going to write something similar for NaNo.

Speaking of, I'm doing NaNo again; cheer me on?

The Alphabet Challenge by Olga Gardner Galvin

I've spent the past week reading The Alphabet Challenge by Olga Gardner Galvin and found it completely brilliant. From the publisher's website:

Set several decades in the future, the nearly unrecognizable Manhattan is made kinder and gentler by PeopleCare, an umbrella organization of myriad victims’ rights groups whose members work their fingers to the bone to make caring, compassion, and lowest-common-denominator equality a federal law, now that they have already fought for and won their campaigns for federal prohibition on smoking and obesity, among other unhealthy things.

Enter entrepreneur Howell Langston Toland, who has learned absolutely nothing in the seven years he’d spent in jail for failure to recycle empty bottles. To cash in on the prevailing zeitgeist, he creates a new category of victimization, which encompasses the broadest audience yet. Threatened by the brazen invasion of its turf and the sudden popularity of the new cause, PeopleCare mounts a counterattack against the upstart. Toland, meanwhile, succumbs to the more natural for him entrepreneurial mode of thinking, urging his annoying followers to become self-reliant so that he may cut them loose.

Vicious politics ensue . . .

One word: hysterical. Totally and completely hysterical. And I mean that in both the “haha, can’t stop laughing” and the “unmanageable fear” sort of way that my Merriam Webster describes.

In this future, people care. They care so much that you can’t do anything for yourself anymore, and why should you? You don’t know how to take care of yourself, but that’s OK, because that’s what PeopleCare is for. They’re there to make all your decisions and totally control every aspect of your life.

Think people who eat meat are insane? There’s a group for that (People for Complete Coexistence with Animals). Think you should be allowed to steal, beat, and rape? There’s a group for you (People with Different Moral and Ethical Values). Think recycling should be a choice? Sorry, that’ll get you five years in lock up. Think you should be allowed to park where you want, eat red meat, or educate your own children? Sorry, but no, you can’t do that anymore. It’s not fair to everyone else. It hurts them and the way they want to live. You’ll have to give up all of your wants and needs and personal rights for the greater good.

It’s OK though, because PeopleCare cares for people.

(In that future, I totally want to be their ad writer.)

Howell Langston Toland has finally had enough. Sentenced to a group home (Adjusted Environment Home) because his parents decided to home school him, and then sentenced to seven years in jail for not recycling and committing grievous bodily harm (tired of being robbed, Howell put cement on a window sill and stuck broken glass in it; poor thief cut himself trying to break in and immediately turned Howell in for his crimes), he decides that it’s time he gets his and starts the ABChallenge, a support group for those who have spent their entire lives being treated like lesser beings because their names start with a letter between N and Z. He’ll collect a small donation from everyone who has ever been treated unfairly because of where they fall in the alphabetical queue, make a fortune, and then run off to live in Australia, where it’s still legal to sunbathe, eat read meat, and have an opinion of your own.

I know, it’s got to be a joke, right?

Not in this future world, it isn’t. Most of America has been brainwashed into believing that it’s not their fault, no it’s the other guy’s fault and dammit, laws need to be passed against them so that you can have a fair shake. No matter that it’s asinine and stupid, it’s the way it has to be so that everything is equal.

As ridiculous as this novel is (and I mean that in a good way!), it’s frightening when you think about how things are changing here, now, ever so slightly starting to resemble things in The Alphabet Challenge. True, we can still make most of our own choices, but look at what’s going on in the food and restaurant industries. Health care. Education. Exercise. I’m not saying that I think all of the changes are for the bad, but I do think it’s a slippery slope we’re on and satire or not, this book has a point.

The day I wake up in America and find out chocolate has been outlawed, or God forbid, salt, I am totally moving to Europe, where they’ll still be allowing such hedonistic, evil, unfair things.

Read The Alphabet Challenge. Then join me in my consumption of chocolate and salt. At the same time. (They're totally delicious together.)

Posts to come: review of the Brooklyn Book Fair, what I have on my nightstand now, and the new challenges I've made for myself (because I'm not failing the ones I'm currently doing, or anything like that).

And recycle. A pox on you and yours if you don't recycle.

On the Edge by Ilona Andrews

Well, Tuesday night, after the misery that was a full day of work, I came home to find a package at my door. Right shape, right size, and yes! An advance copy of On the Edge by Ilona Andrews. I immediately went inside, dropped everything on the floor, and began to read.

I'm so glad I did.

Rose Drayton lives on the Edge, between the world of the Broken (where people drive cars, shop at Wal-Mart, and magic is a fairy tale) and the Weird (where blueblood aristocrats rule, changelings roam, and the strength of your magic can change your destiny). Only Edgers like Rose can easily travel from one world to the next, but they never truly belong in either.

Rose thought if she practiced her magic, she could build a better life for herself. But things didn’t turn out how she planned, and now she works a minimum wage, off the books job in the Broken just to survive. Then Declan Camarine, a blueblood noble straight out of the deepest part of the Weird, comes into her life, determined to have her (and her power).

But when a terrible danger invades the Edge from the Weird, a flood of creatures hungry for magic, Declan and Rose must work together to destroy them—or they’ll devour the Edge and everyone in it . . .

This story was a great, fun ride and I'm already looking forward to the sequel. Rose is a complex character, struggling to keep herself and her two younger brothers (Georgie is a necromancer, Jack turns into a cat) fed and alive. Her entire life becomes more complicated though, with the appearance of Declan, a blueblood from the Weird. He's turning Rose's life upside down in his pursuit... although what that pursuit is isn't as clear cut as Rose thinks. Making things more complicated is the big bad that's muscling it's way through the Edge. It's going to take everything Rose has to keep her head and her family together.

Tightly plotted, with plenty of twists, this is a great novel. Ilona Andrews did a fantastic job leading us down a plot path, only to plant a switchback right after the blind turn, so I totally didn't see things coming. Declan's reasons for being in the Edge, the real reason why William (who you meet in the story) won't talk to Declan, even the truth about certain articles of clothing. They were all nicely done and I'm happy to say that even after I reread the book (twice) I couldn't see any obvious signs of what was to come.

There is romance (hot), blood, feuds, power trips, evil hounds, cool bits of magic and cursing, and absolutely adorable little boys (Rose's two younger brothers). I want to steal Jack and keep him for my very own, that's how much I liked him. (Well, him and William; they were my favorites. Poor guy, he needs some chocolate.)

On the Edge will be released on September 29; I know, so far away. Lucky for you, Ilona is posting snippets here.

Hot off the press

Hee! Not only do I have an awesome interview for you (see my previous post!), but I'm holding an advance copy of Ilona Andrews' On the Edge.

*wards off the grabby hands*

My day, it just keeps getting better.

PS: Thank you, Ilona, and thank you, publicist at Penguin.

Interview with Walt Maguire

Where has my summer gone?

Well, in part, it's gone because of another author interview! Yes, I was lucky enough to set up an interview with Walt Maguire, the author of Monkey See, my book of the summer. Monkey See is about animal testing, job interviews (excerpt available here), and science experiments gone awry. Here’s what he had to say about the idea behind his genetically enhanced apes:

What gave you the idea to write this novel? Was it one article too many on animal testing or had the idea been mulling about in your head for a while and you decided it was time to put pen to paper?

I have a friend who completely falls apart when he hears a reference to talking monkeys. It’s actually a little frightening. But this started me thinking that there hadn’t really been a talking monkey book in almost fifty years, and the last one wasn’t all that funny.

So you wrote a book that you hoped would deliberately horrify your friend? (That's very funny to me, if so.) Did you give him a copy?

Oops! I meant he fell apart laughing. But I like the other version.

How did you come up with your main characters? Are there pieces of your personality in Ed, Chekchek, or Dr. Cogitomni? And where did you come up with your characters names?

The scientists and the militant chimp started out as stock movie characters—you just have to have them in a story like this, or people are distracted waiting for them to show up—but in writing they evolved (pardon the expression) into full personalities. I’m not sure where Ed came from—I sort of learned about him as I wrote him down. The funny part is people keep thinking Chekchek is based on a real person, but nobody ever agrees on who that person is. The names Ed and Chekchek just came to me, and I’m terrible at names generally, so I just accepted them gratefully. Cogitomni is very bad Latin for “Mr. Know-it-all,” which demonstrates just how bad I am at names.

To me, some of the funniest parts of your novel were the scenes where you describe how the reader can make their own monster ape at home, and then what to do once s/he has grown to large, escapes, and runs rampant without any control. Did you have a favorite part?

Thanks. I like the monster name guide, and the walk to town in the section on Wreckage.

What kind—if any—research did you do before writing Monkey See? Is there a monster-ape-hybrid in your basement?

There is. I left my cat alone in the basement for a week with some mice, paint thinner fumes, and a strange glowing mold, and the results were ugly. Though we’re no longer bothered by mice.

Your bio says that you write novels, plays, and articles; which of the three do you enjoy writing more?

The ones that get published.

Many writers describe themselves as "character" or "plot" writers. Which are you? What do you find to be the hardest part of writing?

Names. Also, plot. I usually start with some characters, some scenes, and a point, but the slow part is figuring out how to tie them all together. Once I do have a plot mapped out, it’s like a lighthouse leading my story across the darkness. Although you never want to steer towards a lighthouse or you would crash on rocks, so that’s a bad metaphor. Maybe it’s like a clothesline that gives me a place to string everything together.

What are your goals for the future? Do you have other ideas for novels or plays that you'd like to write or do you plan to focus more on your articles? (Personally, I hope you're writing another novel.)

I am starting on another novel, now you mention it. It’s monkey-free, but I hope to work in some equally bad career advice as I go.

Your website mentions some future titles that you might be writing, including: Letting Go: A memoir of getting far enough up Everest and A Good Walk Spoiled: How America’s love of dogs led us off our ruined sidewalks onto the Federal Highway System. Have you climbed Mt. Everest? Do you have a dog that regularly takes you for walks on the side of the highway?

I once climbed a steep hill in the hot April sun of a Greek day. It took me four hours, and when I reached the top I discovered the tram that ran up the other side every fifteen minutes to drop people off at the hilltop café. I don’t have a dog, but I used to dog-sit a lab that had a talent for peeing on drunken Mummers in spots I would have not expected to find Mummers during the Philadelphia Mummers Parade.

You mention on your website that you’re happy to explain yourself at a juggling festival; do you juggle?

I am completely uncoordinated and have twice dropped this computer while reaching for the mouse. But I know some jugglers, and I like taking bets on when they’ll hurt themselves.

As a reader, what do you enjoy reading? Any favorite authors?

I think I enjoy clever dialog, provided it’s not tied to a contrived story that’s trying very hard to pretend it’s not contrived. Lots of favorite authors: Tom Stoppard, Lorrie Moore, James Thurber, Peter Benchley, P.G. Wodehouse, Michael Chabon, Annie Proulx, Alexie Sherman, and whoever wrote “Rapunzel,” a story that makes less and less sense every time you read it. And yet it keeps popping up.

Do you read your reviews, and if so, what's the oddest one you've ever received?

I do read reviews. I haven’t seen many odd ones yet, though I do notice a temptation by the writers to reminisce about their own favorite talking-monkey memories. I hope Monkey See ends up as another one.

More information about Walt Maguire is available at his website here and here. His latest book, Monkey See, is available at ENC Press.

Dear author

Dear Sherwood Smith,

Hi! Is it too much if I start my letter off by saying how much I love you?

Hmm, right. Too much. OK.

How about if I tell you how much I love your novels; is that better?

Great. OK.

I love your novels, I really, really do. The world building you've done is incredible, your characters feel real to me, and your plots never fall apart on me. I can't wait to get my hands on more of your books so I can read them and fall even more in love with your writing.

I just have one teensy request: could you stop making me cry?

It's just, in Inda, I've cried three times already and I have a feeling that when I start The Fox I'll be bumping the crying count even higher. I just got over a horrible cold-infection thing and I am really enjoying my non-stuffy nose and my non-watery eyes right now.

OK, well, that was all. Really. Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your novels and how eagerly I'm waiting for your latest books to come out in paperback. (I'd get the e-book version, except I hate e-books.)

Love,
Me

Dear Lisa See,

Hi! How are you? You might not remember me, but I read Snow Flower and the Secret Fan about a year ago and just fell in love with it. Well, excluding the parts about foot binding. I just can't understand that, can't understand how that was attractive and how long that practice went on for. The very idea makes me want to shudder.

Oh, right, sorry. I'm actually writing about Peony in Love, your latest novel. I started it yesterday and I have to be honest when I say that this novel is even better than Snow Flower. Peony feels more real to me and I'm just loving the story.

Except for this one thing. See, I know where you're going to go with Peony and the mystery guy and her husband and if I could only reach through your novel and just SMACK Peony a couple of times, I'd feel so much better.

It's not a criticism or a complaint (OK, it is a complaint, but only in the best way) about your writing: I love your writing. It's just, if I could reach out and SMACK Peony, her life would be so much easier. I just know it! I'd save her from her stupidity and she could go off and be happy. (This is of course assuming that I'm right about what's going to happen next.)

Granted, that would mean a much shorter novel; would you mind?

OK, well, thanks for reading my letter. Again, I'm a huge fan and I am really love this novel and I can't wait for my bus ride home to read more. (I still want to SMACK Peony.)

Love,
Me

P.S. Oh! You've written a mystery series too? Awesome, I'll have to check that out too.