Showing posts with label zombies will eat your brain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zombies will eat your brain. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

And the Twilight saga continues

Because Bella and Edward can't just go away or anything...

Cleolinda has horrifying news, which I found via bookshelves of doom:

So the tale of Nahuel is left on this really weird note, right before Bella and Edward run off to go have sex again unto forever, the end, with this half-vampire kid staring at the female Cullen-Swans. And now, today, we discover that BOTH HALF-VAMPIRE KIDS HAVE SEA MONSTER NAMES. How totally made for each other are these two? He's grown to full teenage maturity, she will grow to full teenage maturity, he never made out with her mom, it's perfect. Except that, no, Jacob has already imprinted on Renesmee, and, as Jacob explained all the way back in New Moon, everyone who gets imprinted on pretty much imprints back because "it's hard to resist that kind of love and devotion." (Yes, I can quote that direct, specific line from memory. That kind of bullshit gets burnt into your brain.) So we have what would be, in any other book, a blatant setup for a future relationship ("he'll have some competition"). Even at the time I gave it the side-eye, it stuck out so weirdly. Do you see what this means? Do you? IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY, YOU GUYS. SHE HAD A PERFECT MATCHING HALF-VAMPIRE SEA-MONSTER LOVE INTEREST FOR RENESMEE! IT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE! IT'S RIGHT THERE! But instead, ~Nessie~ is stuck whether she likes it or not--she doesn't have a choice to like it or not because SHE'S THREE MINUTES OLD--with her mother's ex-boyfriend who delivered her from Bella's bloody mangled body and nearly threw her out the window but instead imprinted on her irrevocably as his soulmate.

I just don't even know what to say.

PS: Apparently, there is this rumor that Meyers might write a fifth book? I don't know how I could have missed this before, except that my hearing must have shut down to preserve my sanity. If so, thank you, hearing!

Monday, March 01, 2010

NaNoEdMo

Please don't expect to see me much in March. It's NaNoEdMo and I have a NaNoWriMo to edit.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

A look ahead to 2010

Things you can anticipate from me in 2010:
  • Saying 20-10. Not 2000 & 10, but 20-10. Anyone else doing this?
  • Military nonfiction. Yup, you read that right. Lately, it seems that all I want to read about is the military. And not even military fiction; I burned through that genre when I was a teenager and I haven't looked back.* No, instead it's memoirs about serving, or following a platoon through boot camp, or a historical view on battles throughout history. I've come up with a list longer than you'd think of books I want to read on military conflicts, women serving throughout history, and--God forbid--politics. (And I despise politics.)
As it stands now, my reading list:

One Bullet Away--reread (Finished this one last week)
Love My Rifle More Than You: Young and Female in the U.S. Army--finished 1/4/10
Generation Kill--reread
Hog Pilots, Blue Water Grunts: The American Military in the Air, at Sea, and on the Ground
Imperial Grunts: On the Ground with the American Military, from Mongolia to the Philippines to Iraq and
Beyond House to House
First to Fight: An Inside View of the U.S. Marine Corps
American Spartans
AWOL: The Unexcused Absence of America's Upper Classes from Military Service -- and How It Hurts Our Country
and finally, Fiasco
  • A complete avoidance of reading challenges. Seriously, I'm swearing off of them. (Note the irony in this statement when compared to the above point.)
  • A possible move. I'm becoming... tired of Blogger. Nothing wrong with it, but I'm kind of feeling like a change might possibly be in order. We'll see.
  • More posting. I'm putting myself on a schedule.

*I wish I could remember that book. It was about a platoon, two platoons, in Vietnam, the Double Deuces, or Double Aces, and the nurses at the camp. A guy died, I think his name was Ace, and Susan/Sue--one of the nurses--married the dead guy's friend, who was a the head of one of the platoons. And there a was a nurse named Jane who was sleeping with someone. If I recall, there was a sequel/second book too. Ugh.This is going to bug me now. If anyone wants to be, I don't know, psychic and tell me what book this was, my brain would really appreciate it.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

On the Edge by Ilona Andrews

Well, Tuesday night, after the misery that was a full day of work, I came home to find a package at my door. Right shape, right size, and yes! An advance copy of On the Edge by Ilona Andrews. I immediately went inside, dropped everything on the floor, and began to read.

I'm so glad I did.

Rose Drayton lives on the Edge, between the world of the Broken (where people drive cars, shop at Wal-Mart, and magic is a fairy tale) and the Weird (where blueblood aristocrats rule, changelings roam, and the strength of your magic can change your destiny). Only Edgers like Rose can easily travel from one world to the next, but they never truly belong in either.

Rose thought if she practiced her magic, she could build a better life for herself. But things didn’t turn out how she planned, and now she works a minimum wage, off the books job in the Broken just to survive. Then Declan Camarine, a blueblood noble straight out of the deepest part of the Weird, comes into her life, determined to have her (and her power).

But when a terrible danger invades the Edge from the Weird, a flood of creatures hungry for magic, Declan and Rose must work together to destroy them—or they’ll devour the Edge and everyone in it . . .




This story was a great, fun ride and I'm already looking forward to the sequel. Rose is a complex character, struggling to keep herself and her two younger brothers (Georgie is a necromancer, Jack turns into a cat) fed and alive. Her entire life becomes more complicated though, with the appearance of Declan, a blueblood from the Weird. He's turning Rose's life upside down in his pursuit... although what that pursuit is isn't as clear cut as Rose thinks. Making things more complicated is the big bad that's muscling it's way through the Edge. It's going to take everything Rose has to keep her head and her family together.

Tightly plotted, with plenty of twists, this is a great novel. Ilona Andrews did a fantastic job leading us down a plot path, only to plant a switchback right after the blind turn, so I totally didn't see things coming. Declan's reasons for being in the Edge, the real reason why William (who you meet in the story) won't talk to Declan, even the truth about certain articles of clothing. They were all nicely done and I'm happy to say that even after I reread the book (twice) I couldn't see any obvious signs of what was to come.

There is romance (hot), blood, feuds, power trips, evil hounds, cool bits of magic and cursing, and absolutely adorable little boys (Rose's two younger brothers). I want to steal Jack and keep him for my very own, that's how much I liked him. (Well, him and William; they were my favorites. Poor guy, he needs some chocolate.)

On the Edge will be released on September 29; I know, so far away. Lucky for you, Ilona is posting snippets here.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Interview with Walt Maguire

Where has my summer gone?

Well, in part, it's gone because of another author interview! Yes, I was lucky enough to set up an interview with Walt Maguire, the author of Monkey See, my book of the summer. Monkey See is about animal testing, job interviews (excerpt available here), and science experiments gone awry. Here’s what he had to say about the idea behind his genetically enhanced apes:

What gave you the idea to write this novel? Was it one article too many on animal testing or had the idea been mulling about in your head for a while and you decided it was time to put pen to paper?

I have a friend who completely falls apart when he hears a reference to talking monkeys. It’s actually a little frightening. But this started me thinking that there hadn’t really been a talking monkey book in almost fifty years, and the last one wasn’t all that funny.

So you wrote a book that you hoped would deliberately horrify your friend? (That's very funny to me, if so.) Did you give him a copy?

Oops! I meant he fell apart laughing. But I like the other version.

How did you come up with your main characters? Are there pieces of your personality in Ed, Chekchek, or Dr. Cogitomni? And where did you come up with your characters names?

The scientists and the militant chimp started out as stock movie characters—you just have to have them in a story like this, or people are distracted waiting for them to show up—but in writing they evolved (pardon the expression) into full personalities. I’m not sure where Ed came from—I sort of learned about him as I wrote him down. The funny part is people keep thinking Chekchek is based on a real person, but nobody ever agrees on who that person is. The names Ed and Chekchek just came to me, and I’m terrible at names generally, so I just accepted them gratefully. Cogitomni is very bad Latin for “Mr. Know-it-all,” which demonstrates just how bad I am at names.

To me, some of the funniest parts of your novel were the scenes where you describe how the reader can make their own monster ape at home, and then what to do once s/he has grown to large, escapes, and runs rampant without any control. Did you have a favorite part?

Thanks. I like the monster name guide, and the walk to town in the section on Wreckage.

What kind—if any—research did you do before writing Monkey See? Is there a monster-ape-hybrid in your basement?

There is. I left my cat alone in the basement for a week with some mice, paint thinner fumes, and a strange glowing mold, and the results were ugly. Though we’re no longer bothered by mice.

Your bio says that you write novels, plays, and articles; which of the three do you enjoy writing more?

The ones that get published.

Many writers describe themselves as "character" or "plot" writers. Which are you? What do you find to be the hardest part of writing?

Names. Also, plot. I usually start with some characters, some scenes, and a point, but the slow part is figuring out how to tie them all together. Once I do have a plot mapped out, it’s like a lighthouse leading my story across the darkness. Although you never want to steer towards a lighthouse or you would crash on rocks, so that’s a bad metaphor. Maybe it’s like a clothesline that gives me a place to string everything together.

What are your goals for the future? Do you have other ideas for novels or plays that you'd like to write or do you plan to focus more on your articles? (Personally, I hope you're writing another novel.)

I am starting on another novel, now you mention it. It’s monkey-free, but I hope to work in some equally bad career advice as I go.

Your website mentions some future titles that you might be writing, including: Letting Go: A memoir of getting far enough up Everest and A Good Walk Spoiled: How America’s love of dogs led us off our ruined sidewalks onto the Federal Highway System. Have you climbed Mt. Everest? Do you have a dog that regularly takes you for walks on the side of the highway?

I once climbed a steep hill in the hot April sun of a Greek day. It took me four hours, and when I reached the top I discovered the tram that ran up the other side every fifteen minutes to drop people off at the hilltop cafĂ©. I don’t have a dog, but I used to dog-sit a lab that had a talent for peeing on drunken Mummers in spots I would have not expected to find Mummers during the Philadelphia Mummers Parade.

You mention on your website that you’re happy to explain yourself at a juggling festival; do you juggle?

I am completely uncoordinated and have twice dropped this computer while reaching for the mouse. But I know some jugglers, and I like taking bets on when they’ll hurt themselves.

As a reader, what do you enjoy reading? Any favorite authors?

I think I enjoy clever dialog, provided it’s not tied to a contrived story that’s trying very hard to pretend it’s not contrived. Lots of favorite authors: Tom Stoppard, Lorrie Moore, James Thurber, Peter Benchley, P.G. Wodehouse, Michael Chabon, Annie Proulx, Alexie Sherman, and whoever wrote “Rapunzel,” a story that makes less and less sense every time you read it. And yet it keeps popping up.

Do you read your reviews, and if so, what's the oddest one you've ever received?

I do read reviews. I haven’t seen many odd ones yet, though I do notice a temptation by the writers to reminisce about their own favorite talking-monkey memories. I hope Monkey See ends up as another one.

More information about Walt Maguire is available at his website here and here. His latest book, Monkey See, is available at ENC Press.


Monday, June 22, 2009

Book of the Summer

I know it's early, but I think that Monkey See by Walt Maguire, is going to be the book of the summer for me. Taking jabs at political and social issues, while never letting the laughs stop, this science-fiction novel has everything I, or any other reader, could want. Genetic experiments on primates who will one day rise up and crush humanity: check. Heart-tugging moments of baby monkey cuteness: check. A twisted and intricate plot that jumps around repeatedly while still making sense: check. And as a bonus, a do-it-yourself guide to making your own monster. 

Monkey See starts by introducing us to Ed the Talking Monkey. A science experiment gone awry—the scientist, Dr. Cogitomni, was actually trying to create a cure for asthma—Ed the Talking Monkey finds himself in an unique situation. Unable to communicate with unenhanced primates, he is stuck trying to figure out where in this new world he actually belongs. Is it with the humans who don't understand or really like him or with other enhanced primates who alternately try to befriend and look down upon Ed the Talking Monkey for his friendships with humans?


Constantly feeling like the odd man out, Ed the Talking Monkey’s life changes when he meets Gigi, Dr. Cogitomni’s latest experiment. A young spider monkey, Gigi winds up in Dr. Cogitomni’s lab where she undergoes weeks of experimentation. The two hit it off, once Gigi has undergone enough genetic manipulation to actually understand and speak English. She’s a fifteen foot spiked monster and Ed the Talking Monkey works as a janitor in Dr. Cogitomni’s lab, but none of those matters to these two. Alas, their love is destined to die because Gigi is not only Dr. Cogitomni's newest experiment, but she's also his secret weapon in his evil plan to rule the world.


Spliced throughout the whole twisted story of Ed the Talking Monkey's journey and Gigi's metamorphosis are two other intricate plots. The first is a step-by-step guide to creating your own monster—so you, too, can rule the world—which includes a detailed plan on what to do afterward, and clever, witty lines to spout off when confronted by other scientists, your monster, and the cops.


The second plot deals with the upcoming monkey uprising. Genetically enhanced by Dr. Cogitomni and his fellow scientist, these primates have decided that they’re tired of being treated like second-class citizens. They’ve plotted out how to best take over and enslave humanity and are planning on staging a coup. Several members of this plot are trying to convince Ed the Talking Monkey that he should join their side, and it isn’t easy for Ed the Talking Monkey to turn them down. And there is a small sub-plot in this plot, showing what life for humans will be like under the new monkey overlords.

Monkey See is a very well-written novel and I highly recommend that you read it now, before the monkeys can get you.

PS: Let me know if you too catch the Cylon reference.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

A meme

It's nice here in Brooklyn, really really nice.  So nice that staying indoors is hard; I want to be outside, enjoying the sun, but at the same time I want to be indoors, not getting sunburned.  Le sigh, welcome to my life.

So, instead of posting things I will link to them instead.

Like this diversity in reading meme from Dani.  I'd take it myself, but fail so miserably.  I've noticed over the past few years that I've become a reader of mostly white men and women from the U.S.  I'm going to have to address that issue, and soon.  Maybe May is the month I start reading 2666.

I had a few thoughts this morning on the way to church about The Forest of Hands and Teeth... which if you haven't read, skip this next part because it will be full of SPOILERS.  

1) I wondered when the different communities lost contact with one another.  They had to know the others existed, or had existed, and the Guardians were keeping the path stocked with food at the request of the Sisters... but when did they lose contact?

2) It's interesting how the two communities that we see evolved after the plague hit.  Mary's community eventually became ultra-religious while the other community, the one Gabriella was from, seemed to be much more modern and liberal.  They had shops and a marketplace set up, while in Mary's community everything was provided by the Sisterhood.  Gabriella's community also had access to the truth, in the form of the old articles that Mary discovers in the attic, while back in Mary's community, they're taught (by the Sisterhood) that the Unconsecrated happened as a result of sin.  It makes me wonder if the founder of Mary's community wasn't a religious person, who saw the plague as a sign of humanity's sins.   I wonder what the other sixteen (or however many there are) communities were like.  And how many of them survived.  And what they knew about the origins of the plague. 

3) When is the sequel coming out?  Because I dearly want to know what happened to Angus.

END SPOILERS


Mhh, I think I'll go outside now.  Or maybe I'll just take a wee nap here on the couch.

Decisions, decisions.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Forest of Hands and Teeth

The Forest of Hands and Teeth, by Carrie Ryan, was exactly the book I needed to read over the weekend.  It was rainy and dark and the only thing I wanted to do was stay curled up on my couch.

From the flap:

In Mary's world there are simple truths. 
The Sisterhood always knows best. 
The Guardians will protect and serve. 
The Unconsecrated will never relent. 
And you must always mind the fence that surrounds the village; the fence that protects the village from the Forest of Hands and Teeth. 
But, slowly, Mary’s truths are failing her. She’s learning things she never wanted to know about the Sisterhood and its secrets, and the Guardians and their power, and about the Unconsecrated and their relentlessness. When the fence is breached and her world is thrown into chaos, she must choose between her village and her future—between the one she loves and the one who loves her. And she must face the truth about the Forest of Hands and Teeth. 
Could there be life outside a world surrounded in so much death?

The story starts in Mary's now, although we don't know when that is.  Mary has been raised on her great-great-great-grandmother's stories of the sea, passed down to her by Mary's mother. Mary has never seen the sea, Mary's mother never did, and a lot of people believe that it's only a myth, that there is nothing beyond the fence of the village but the Forest of Hands and Teeth.

But Mary believes differently, and it's this belief that there is something else out there that sets her apart from everyone else in the village.  It's also what gets her into trouble with the Sisterhood, the nunlike women who run the village with an iron fist.  Part Catholic church, part cult, the Sisterhood is responsible for the people within the village; teaching, healing, and preaching to the villagers.  

They are also one half of the group--the other half are the Guardians, the ones who physically protect the fence--that protects the village from the Unconsecrated, the walking dead.  No one remembers how or why the Unconsecrated came into being, but everyone knows what these mindless beings want; flesh and blood, and they're absolutely determined to tear every last one of the villagers within Mary's village to shreds.  That is why maintaining the fence that encircles their village is so important; it's the only thing that keeps them from being overrun by the Unconsecrated.  

Both Mary's belief that she will one day see the sea and the Unconsecrated's determination to tear the village apart come to a head when Mary discovers that the Sisterhood is hiding someone within their Cathedral.  

Someone who came from outside the fence.  

From beyond the Forest of Hand and Teeth.  

Her existence would shake everything the Sisterhood has ever told the village. Proof that there are people living elsewhere.  Proof that there is a way past the Unconsecrated.  Proof that the ocean might exist.   

Proof that Mary has spent her whole life wishing for and the only thing that might save her the day the Unconsecrated breach the fence.